New year, new me?

It’s been almost 2 years since I last wrote here and we are now getting ready to enter 2019. When I started this blog my aim was to use it as a place to get my feelings out, manage my mental health and keep track of my progress.Obviously that didn’t happen.

But that’s okay.

Sometimes the plans we put into place just don’t work out that way. What’s important is to realise this and move on. A couple of weeks ago I stumbled across my WordPress account and remembered my high hopes of having a functioning, active blog. I realised I had not carried out my plan and was pretty disappointed in myself. I decided that was that… it didn’t happen so it never will. But that isn’t true. Just because I was unsuccessful on that attempt doesn’t mean I’m a failure.

At the end of the day life moves on, blog or no blog. And with my erratic emotions, a full time job and a partner who also suffers with his mental health it becomes difficult to fit anything else in. Especially when I don’t always have the motivation to shower nevermind write a blog post on my innermost thoughts.

In order to boost my chances of consistently blogging, this time I am going to be using a habit tracker app. HabitBull is “an app to build positive habits or break negative habits.” It works by allowing you to set a number of new habits to build or current habits to break and then monitoring your progress with these daily. You can also set habits that are numerical for example blog once a week or meditate twice a day.

Not only am I going to use this to help with blogging, I am also going to use it to try and improve my self-care. Hopefully keeping track of the little things I should be doing every day for myself like showering, meditation and getting good sleep will help give me some control back over my life and how I feel.

The one thing I need to remember is that the whole “New Year, New Me” movement can in itself be damaging. It suggests that the “old me”, the current me is not good enough, that there is something inherently wrong with me that needs fixing which is just not true. I will always be me at the core and I need to learn to be happy with who I am. I may build some new, healthy habits and may even break some bad habits but I will still always be me at the core. No matter what clothes I wear, what job I do or what weight I am, I will still always be me.

And guess what?

That’s pretty cool.